I started this blog on a whim, months before my wedding. I found the planning process somewhat lonely, at least when it came to thinking about some of the Big Stuff (and by thinking, I mean obsessing), and I found image-heavy wedding blogs really tiring and alienating. So I started this here thing, not sure where it was going, and wrote the following as a means of introducing myself:
I am a secretly shy, not so secretly bubbly brunette with a penchant for history, accordions, kittens and comfort food. He is a sardonic bearded man with a love of comic books, beer and incomprehensible philosophy. We are getting married in August of 2009 and it has been quite the journey.
This blog is meant to record the sometimes awesome sometimes deeply conflicting process that has been planning our wedding. It is both about the fun and frilly stuff and about the politics, which in my opinion, almost always go hand in hand.
Now we are married, and the wedding is slipping further and further into the “past”. This blog proved to be much more useful a space than I ever could have predicted, and I found all sorts of like-minded women through it thinking through similar issues with intelligence and resilience. So I still find myself writing in here, about the ways in which marriage is proving to be an unexpected change, in both fabulous and frightening ways.
You can reach me at: darntootin@gmail.com
HI,
I just found your blog (via Meg at “a practical wedding”) and just wanted to send a quick note to say how much I enjoy and identify with your wedding planning journal. That I think I found my online doppelganger is I’m sure aided by the fact that I too am a Jewish academic who found herself struggling in this year’s academic job market. And I too am deeply conflicted about but yet drawn to the idea of having a wedding.
Your blog is brilliant and beautifully written–so keep going!
Anyhow, the real reason I am writing is that I just read your old post about wedding makeup and thought that you might find this image useful:
ttp://4.bp.blogspot.com/_vtO8EZ_GzCY/RqXx1E68JqI/AAAAAAAAAu8/H5CiWUhOaMU/s1600-h/IMG_0091.jpg
Her makeup is lovely but understated.
Good luck with the wedding planning process and I’ll keep reading!
Daniella
Hi Daniella,
Thanks for your comment. I am constantly insecure about this little blogging project and honestly, comments like yours are really reassuring (that there is a point to writing it out and that other people go through similar stuff!). And thanks for the photo–it’s lovely!
Hooray for doppelgangers!
Danielle,
I stumbled on to your blog through Meg @ Practical Wedding and I’m so glad I did. I, too, am planning a wedding filled with my difficult family. It’s a long story and rather painful, but in the end I have nightmares about my mother throwing a wildly inappropriate temper tantrum on my wedding day and, as she tends to do, make the day all about how SHE is so unappreciated and unloved. It was calming for me to read about your similar experiences and fears, only to learn that everything worked out. I have gone through all of the stages of trying to find ways to make her happy, raging against her for her self-centered and possessive behavior and now I am just trying to find a way to put it out of my mind. I understand that her feelings and behavior are not within my control and it’s been helpful to know that everything worked out for you, that your wedding was joyful and meaningful.
Thanks.
Sorry, typo there…I did meant o spell your name properly: Daniella.
Hi Sarah,
Daniella was a commenter, it’s actually me who writes this blog, but thanks for the kind words. I am planning on writing a bit more on dealing with my parents and how the actual wedding went in regards to them, but it sounds like our mothers had a lot in common. I will say this–you can’t make your mom not suck, you can only control how much you let it affect you. And I am still working that out. I am still very hurt by a lot of what happened during wedding planning, but the good news is that yes, at the actual wedding, most of that stuff pretty much melted away. I hope it does for you too–you deserve a day where you get to feel special and loved!
I saw your blog on Cupcake Bride website. I need the password to read your post she recommended!